The Best Plan is No Plan…or is it?

From the eek to the agghh..the rule of thumb is:
I listened to a podcast, The Best Plan is No Plan, which covered some ideas that I would not put into practise for my circumstance, but in other circumstances they may be just what is needed.
As I listened, having been hooked by the (dubious)  ‘best plan is no plan’ headline…I found myself going:

‘yeah, but no, but yeah”.

The person being interviewed is a trained ‘Becoming Us’ provider (Becoming Us was founded by Australian doula, Elly Taylor).  Paraphrasing the middle part of this (American) podcast:

Birth is unpredictable, a birth plan = high expectations…but instead of lowing them…how about having no expectations!  Birth plans set you up for disappointment, you must be open to whatever unfolds….

This is actually a very interesting point, as behavioural specialist Ray Williams does suggest that no goals are better than failed goals.  This suggests that there is some ‘wisdom’ in lower expectations…or better yet, having no expectations.  BUT the reality is, doing this means you also must TOTALLY disregard yourself.

You must relegate yourself to nothing of worth…otherwise known as leaving your dignity at the door.

parenting trifecta300
image from my book: ‘The Birth Map: Boldly Going Where No Birth Plan Has Gone Before’  get the ebook here or the print book here

Reality and expectation do need to align…but this does not happen by ignoring the entire situation.  This life event is far too important to leave to chance, which is framed as ‘going with the flow’.  BUT WHOSE FLOW?

In the podcast, the non-parent is all gushing about babies…the parents are like “nah”.  The take home message being “no one’s paying that much attention to you”.

Which disregards the need for support.




The podcast is a long listen, it isn’t on my arrhhh list and it does show that there is no one way  for various aspects of parenting.  In regards to the headline, however, I must disagree – The Best Birth Plan is a Birth Map.



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