Shame, guilt and the search for common ground

the article,AND the comments.

Encouragement vs judgement
support or pressure?

the language of motherhood.
the choices of motherhood.


this is an important conversation.

When a woman makes an Informed Decision she gains confidence. She knows she has made the right choice for her circumstances, and can walk that path knowing she was informed. No excuses, no vague answers, no pressure. Just an Informed Decision.

Support starts by meeting the Mother on her ground. Inside her set of circumstances. This means empathy. Unconditional positive regard. active listening. And helping as asked.

Breastfeeding Medicine

In the fallout from the breastfeeding sibling study, I’ve been struck by the intensity of conversations about shame and guilt. A colleague and friend posted on Facebook:

This study is for my patients who have taken every tea, herb and drug to raise their milk supply, and are afraid to be seen in public giving their babies formula. They shun the social support they need from other mothers because bottle feeding has become so stigmatized. I see such relief on their faces when I tell them that they are outstanding mothers raising healthy babies, and am glad to have some evidence behind that.

A father commented on the ABM Blog:

I sat in pre-natal class with my wife as a bunch of women were given the implicit message that they were not real women or good mothers if they did anything but breast feed. And a lot of these…

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