Your friend announces the birth of her baby on facebook.
What follows is comments of congratulations, well done, welcome to the world…
There is no right and wrong, you say what you feel, it comes from the heart.
The accompanying picture shows it was probably a surgical birth…how do you feel? They seem happy, and bub seems fine, so chances are the standard congrats are fine. Bub was premmie? Same goes, follow the lead of the poster, if they seem happy, go with that, if they need support, offer what you can – even if it is just an empathetic comment of love. And it is definitely inappropriate to ask for details beyond what has been announced…leave those for personal conversations, not the open wall of facebook.
That is common sense and straightforward; now this is me over thinking.
I have seen comments along the lines of the baby will bring you joy, laughter, or a lifetime of happy memories. This is a fairly benign and loving comment…but it got me thinking…
“your baby will bring you joy”…
What if the mother is struggling? That could really hurt.
A lifetime of happy memories? sure, but “your baby will bring you…”? Not a given…as parents we create these happy memories too, as a family we all contribute. Our innocent child should not carry the burden of our happiness. Our happiness is not their responsibility.
And what if your friend HASN’T posted the birth? Do you say congratulations on their wall? Do you post a notice on your wall?
If the parents have not posted it is very rude to make it known via your wall or theirs. Likewise, do not post or hint at details you know, that they have not posted or made public. You may be excited and full of joy and love for the new arrival – but it is not your place to announce anything beyond what the parents have or haven’t announced.
In the world of over-sharing, this is one area where we must remember to respect each other.
Makes me think also – if your friend has not made their birthday known to facebook- send a private message (or ring them) with your sincere birthday wishes…a post on their wall violates their privacy and is not the most personal way to show you remember them.
Just a thought…